Condolences
Offering condolences to the relatives and friends of the deceased is an important act of kindness, which was displayed by the Prophet (s.a.w). When consoling a Muslim, it is important to remind the bereaved of the triviality of this life, that everything belongs to Allah, and that one should submit patiently to the decrees of Allah. It is also beneficent to make him hopeful of Allah's mercy toward the beloved one that he lost, and that by the will of Allah he or she will be united with the deceased on a Day after which there is no parting. What better words to say to the desolated then those taught by Allah's final Messenger (s.a.w): "Innaa lillaahi maa akhathaa wa lillaahi maa A'taa, wa kullu shay-in 'indahoo li ajalin musammaa." This means: "To Allah belongs what He took, and to Him belongs what He gave. Everything is recorded with Him for an appointed term." Offering condolences is not limited to three days, and could be extended for as long as there is a need for it. The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) consoled Ja'far's family after three days had passed. A very common practice is gathering to offer condolences to the deceased's family and relatives in the graveyard, house, or mosque. This is a heretical action that has no basis in Islam. Jarir ibn Abdullah al-Bajali said: "We (the companions of the Prophet) considered gathering for visiting the deceased's family, and preparing food after burying them, both acts of wailing." Imaam ash-Shafi said: "I dislike gatherings, even if there is no wailing or crying. For it only renews the family's feelings of sorrow and puts burdens on their food supplies." Some Muslims also commemorate the first, third, seventh, twentieth, or fortieth day following someone's death. This has absolutely no basis from the Qur'an or Sunnah.
 

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